Birthday wishes :)
In another 20 days, its the big days !
i didnt realise it was just another 20 days.
my head’s bursting from all the preparation. After exams and now this big birthday preparation.
My parents cant be bothered, Daddy said ” You want this party you go and settle yourself, we are busy enough dont come and disturb us.” Mommy said ” you know i hate doing this kind of things so you want you settle yourself”
So here i am struggling alone to settle everything. My guests are overwhelming. It totals up to nearly 80 90.
Its extreme and crazy.
20 days is really errrr. i seriously didnt know it was that close.
I have so many to-dos not done yet.
Gotta bug up!
My decorating items and scrap book are the priority !
habit or love?
I’ve always qns myself this question. Actually, its true that as time goes by, habit naturally overtakes love. But is effort enough to feel the love again?
I dont know is it that i’m tired or, i just dont feel the same anymore.
I’ve tried countless time,to make things right. It just fails.
I have damn little tolerance for patience.
perhapds i give up easily. but after i did try even harder.
it just falls back to last year end again, when ever khim gets sick its like the whole world is crashing down on me BUT not him? what in the hell did i do to deserve this? ok he gets sick i have to take care of him, be there for him. But the pressure i’m holding on is much more for me to handle. Adding on exams.
Even after finishing my exams, i didnt thought of enjoying and celebrating, instead i rushed all the way down to the race site for 2 days.
I know this sound thick skin but i can say for this past 1 week i can say it loudly i’ve done alot already.
People are always telling me i’m doing too much,i’m always putting others, esp my bf infront of everything then myself.
i’ve never knew and believed it because i know how spoilt i am, i always just wanna get what i want. But come to think of it, when it comes to love. i’m totally wrong.
I dont know what i should do now, maybe i really need a break for all this shit.
I had enough taking everything, i have my temper, i do show my temper but it all surfaces after the limit.
hurt
this hurt is far too painful to handle.
Somehow it brings me really down, i feel really dishearted.
I wished i knew what to do.
i’m just trying to really take it slowly because i never wanna get hurt tt way anymore.
i believe there is always a strong part of me and i’m sure i can walk through this alone.
weird feelings
I’m thinking since i woke up, in the past whenever khim leaves me for a day or two i wld feel extremely sian and upset. This time is 4 full days. I’m surprised i’m nt even feeling anything.
I woke up on thursday heading to sch and work normally, cabbed home. I didnt had any problems sleeping at night.
woke up today, and caught me thinking how i had pass these 2 days so fast.
its just another 2 days..
perhaps i miss him just that little.
But why? isit that i’ve gotten used to it or? i wish i know the ans.
But knwing the guys gfs went down yday to look for them, i was damn sad ! :’(
My eyes are twitching so badly, like its vibrating ! kinda funny though. must be due to the lack of sleep for past few days.
Hb’s went for camp yday already. Ok i admit i dont miss him that much as the usual but during work today was just having a random chat with my colleague, we both agreed on many stuffs.
As a r/s goes by, things is bound to change definitly. Things wouldnt be like it is during those dating days, where you both die to see each other, cant wait to hold each other,of course lots of physical contact. As years goes by, things changes. It became a routine. Naturally, things just goes as its planned. When was the last time we last surprised each other? or did something for each other? seriously, i cant even rmb. i do miss those days badly, where we would both cant get enough of each other. i always asked myself,how to create sparks and spice up long term relationship? Because that you both understand each other too well, and we are tt close that we practically tell each other everything. So how to ever add up e spice? even when i wanna give a surprise, naturally it wld just slip off. Its never easy to mantain a long term relationship.
i do envy couples during the early stage, making efforts to see each other. But i dont see us doing that. I’m nt comparing but it just left me thinking alot, how we have really gone through this far. and i’m sure that we are as strong now. i’m sure the love has never fade. I love the fact that alt things arnt like those early stages, we still do things together. Most importantly, we are always there for each other. Efforts may not be seen. Still, i believe it takes 2 hands to clap.
Alt things are as great as it is, i never believe in stop working hard. because i believe it will become even greater and stronger.
a little update
been real long since i last blog, wanna blog now because i wanna keep memories of days happening.
Exam is coming in 12days time, havent even had one module down yet. i’m seriously stressed up. I’m in needfor starbucks each time i need to mug.
I loves East coast starbucks best, prolly because its near the beach.
Finally went to Sentosa to tan yday alt i dont feel much tanned. Gonna try tanning at pools. I still prefer the beach though.
Alright, hb going for training camp in one day’s time. Its like his reservist 
Just one day less and there’s girls.
I’m trying to spend all my free time now with him, and also treasure. I woke up early in the morning feeling so tired to acc him for his intv, end up didnt went for work cause i wasnt well.
I’m just left with 1 more day with him. His has intv tml too. I realy wanna treasure the whole day with me, i cld still wake up that early to acc him. I know he wldnt want.
i will try.
work sucks, earned a miserable 200 this mth only, because i’m always unwell and cutting days. Endure another mth and i’m off from this !
love the way we are.
i love the way we are now.
The way we talk nicely, reason things out instead of those angerness, fights screams.
I love the way you are doing this for me. I love the way our relationship is now. i love the way you filled me with endless love.
I love the way for who you are.
wash my hands off, i’m doing this because to prevent me giving everything up if it fails again.
Time is precious, its not meant to be wasted this way at all.
I know its a passion but being able to prioritise the more important want is crucial, and to prioritise your time and stuffs is what you had promise me many many times already.
Have you ever thought tt trusting someone isnt tt easy esp when the trust is broken time after time? Ya i appears irritating to nag and nag at you. Who likes nagging and breathing down the person neck esp its yr love one.
HELL NO ! i myself feels irritated.
Bottomline, i just don wanna regret giving up if things happen again, at least i know i tried
Anyway i dont fcuking give a damn anymore, up to you to study or not. You are old enough to know what is important and shld have already learnt your mistakes.
Tired of quarreling and fighting such stupid issue which is so bloody redundant
gonna work full shift ltr on because something cropped up in the store, complicated, shall find out more ltr.
Its a friday, i hardly work on a friday because its FRIDAY !
well, anyway hubby has lessons on friday, so must as well work instead of slacking at home. i can meet him after work still.
terribly in need of money, this sat dinner cost 80 each. Wedding dinner in 2 weeks time 120.
total of 200,where am i gonna get it. To get from daddy makes me feel kinda bad but i don wan hb to get troubled over paying for me.
At e same time i don wanna take money from daddy. Sigh.
Life is sucha bitch when you have no money.
trying hard to earn as much and save, i terribly need a getaway. But hb nvr understands.
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